She Loves Him

I think I spent as much time feeling guilty for Mikenna as I did feeling excited to meet Keegan while I was pregnant.

Mommy guilt is seriously a biotch.

Of course I want Mikenna to have siblings to play with...

I can't imagine life without my sisters.

But that doesn't make the transition any easier.

We did everything to try to prepare her for her brother. 

 But still, I cried just about every night thinking about how she would feel once he arrived.

As usual, my girl amazed me and had no problem adjusting to Keegan.

She loved him from the instant she saw him.

Since we've been home all she wants to do is hold him and kiss him.

In fact, rather than the jealousy I expected, our biggest issue is asking her to give him some space.

She loves touching him and singing to him, and wants to help with everything.

She brings me diapers, clothes, puts his binky back in his mouth, and sings to him when he's crying... having a 3 year old around is surprisingly helpful!

I'm so thankful she has adjusted so well. 

I'm still anticipating some jealousy coming out eventually... 

But for now seeing them together just melts my heart.

If it's possible I love her even more than I did before.

And p.s. aren't they the cutest kids EVER?

Announcement

So very happy with how these turned out! :)

Keegan: 10 Days Old

I finally feel a little more like myself (and a little less like a zombie who was recently hit by a car).

I decided to take a few hours with my new little love today for a newborn session.

We started after a feeding, while he was wide awake :)

 I love those blue-grey eyes, and my very alert little man.

After laying in the warmth for a few minutes he finally fell into his normal afternoon deep sleep.

Around 2:00 pm is the best nap time for both my kids.

Mikenna has always been a late napper, but it's what has always worked for her. 

Thankfully, so far, Keegan seems to be the same way.

I'm so in love with that squishy face...

...and his big "Daddy nose" that's too big for his face with a wrinkle at the bridge...

...and those sweet little lips. 

He has HUGE hands and feet... skinny and loooooong.
He's going to be a big boy.
And that head full of crazy hair on his head... that's my favorite part.

After being so nice and sleepy for his shoot I figured he would do great for some pictures with Mikenna.

We got this one shot and then my alert little man stayed awake for a few hours.

My babies come out very curious... he is just like his sister.

...and they even have the same expressions.

Welcome to the world sweet boy.

We can't wait to watch you grow and learn all about you!

Keegan Day 1

We literally spent our entire first day just staring at our boy.

I can't believe he is finally here.

Who does he look like?

We can't decide... he definitely looks like Ryan, but not as much as Mikenna did.

We also made another discovery that morning when we took off Keegan's hat...

the kid has got some CRAZY hair!

We hadn't taken his hat off since his bath the night before... au naturale faux hawk.

I think that is my favorite thing about him.

We spent our first morning just taking it all in.

After nursing pretty much all night long, Daddy finally got to spend some time holding him that morning.

It's amazing meeting your baby...

But watching your husband bond with your new baby... nothing in the world compares.

I am never more attracted to Ryan than I am watching him with our kids.

He is such an amazing Daddy and that's definitely the way to my heart!

I was dying for Mikenna to meet her brother (and to see her, we aren't apart very often).

Grammy brought her in when she woke up that morning.

I had prepared myself for the worst... jealousy, acting out, ignoring us or the baby...

But to my surprise she was so excited to see us and the baby.

She wanted to hug and kiss him, wanted to sit by me, and wanted to hold him.

She instantly loved him just as much as we did.

Thank you princess for taking those fears away. 

Keegan started to get fussy at one point, and as soon as I put him on her lap he calmed down and fell asleep.

He knew her voice.

Before having Keegan I couldn't imagine how I could possibly love another baby as much as I love Mikenna.
But somehow your heart just grows.
Seeing the two of them together, and seeing how much she loves him makes it all worth it.

We had visitor after visitor the rest of the day, most of the family came in and out to see him.
Keegan did amazing with so many people in and out, he slept and ate and didn't cry at all.

That night I had asked Ryan if he would go and spend some time with Kenna and put her to bed.
I didn't want her to feel left out with everything going on.
While he was gone I got some one on one time with my new boy.

Things I know about him so far:
He loves to snuggle... he wants to be wrapped up and held tight.
He is calm and generally content
And he is perfect, right?!

Keegan's Birth Story 1.16.2013

Keegan was born on Wednesday, January 16th at 12:33am, 10 (very long) days past his due date. I woke up on Tuesday morning at 4:30am with a contraction. I had some contractions and false labor in the week before, and since I was pretty sure he was never coming out at this point, I went back to sleep. I woke up 15 minutes later with another contraction and again went back to sleep. 15 minutes later... another contraction. I turned my phone on (after squealing with excitement-FINALLY) and started timing the contractions... a consistent 15 minutes apart. Ryan had to go to Stockton that morning for work and was worried he wouldn't make it back in time. I assured him my labors are long and unfortunately I don't think I will ever be one of those people who feels a contraction and pushes a kid out 2 hours later, no matter how many kids I have. Well, I was right... he was back home around 9am and by that time my contractions were still 8 minutes apart.

The nice thing about long labors is you have the chance to shower and get ready before you head to the hospital. I took a shower, washed and straightened my hair, put on some makeup, and double checked that everything was packed. I've had a newborn before, I remember how hard it is to squeeze those things in once they arrive.

After getting ready and eating breakfast I felt ready, come on labor... speed up. Then, at around 11:00am, after my contractions got to a consistent 6 minutes apart, they stopped. I was so upset. Ryan had taken the day off, we had called everyone, gotten everything ready, 9 days late, and they STOPPED?! I dragged Ryan and Mikenna on a long walk with me trying to get things moving, but no luck. I had my 41 week appointment scheduled at 3:00 that afternoon, so at least I would get to see if I progressed at all. Ryan kept telling me he was sure the Doctor would keep me, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. This baby was never coming out, I was pretty sure of it. 

When we got to my appointment Dr. Scates checked me and I was dilated to almost 4! He said if he sent us home we would just be turning back around to come back so he sent me to labor and delivery and said he would come in a couple hours to break my water. (Hooray! Baby day!) 

About 5 minutes after I got hooked up to all the monitors in labor and delivery my contractions started... and this time they HURT. After toughing it out for a couple hours I wanted my epidural. (More power to any of you who are able to do the all natural thing, I love that beautiful needle and I will never be one of those people. Happy-durals all the way!) I didn't feel the instant relief this time when I got the epidural, but I waited it out... maybe this one took longer to work. A half hour later and contractions were still bringing me to tears and only my right leg was numb. Somewhere in the blur of pain and worry that the epi wasn't working the Doctor came in to break my water, and my contractions got even stronger. I was in so. much. pain. The nurse turned me on my side, added more medicine, and the epidural still wasn't working. We had to call in the anesthesiologist to change the placement of the epidural. It sounds awful going through the process twice, but at that point, you could stick a needle anywhere, just take the contraction pain away! As soon as the second epidural was in, I felt instant relief. I remembered why I love anesthesiologists so much. God bless you... you little saints.  

Because I got 2 epidurals the nurse told me I would probably be more numb due to so much medicine going through me. It was a bit too much for me and I started getting nauseous. My blood pressure and heart rate had quickly dropped. They gave me some ephedrine in my IV and instantly I felt better. A little scary, but thankful everything was right now and I wasn't in pain.  

Mikenna got to spend some time at the hospital while I was in labor, along with our family. I was progressing about a centimeter every hour to 2 hours. It was moving slowly but I was thankful that my body was doing everything on its own and I didn't need pitocin. At 11:45pm the nurse checked me and I was at 8 cm, she suggested I roll on my side, as that sometimes gets things moving. As soon as I rolled over I felt lots of pressure. I called her back in to check me, and I was dilated to 10, ready to push! The baby still hadn't dropped, so she suggested just giving a "practice push" to see if he moved down. As soon as I did that she told me to stop until the Doctor arrived because he was almost out! I pushed with Mikenna for over an hour, are you kidding me? 

Dr. Scates arrived a few minutes later. I pushed through 2 more contractions and he was here. There is nothing in the world like hearing your baby cry before you even get the chance to see him. He sounded just like Mikenna, I knew that cry was MY baby. 

They placed him on my chest and I was overwhelmed... he was perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and a ton of curly dark hair. 

I remember looking at him and thinking, "yep, he is ours." I didn't know what to expect with Mikenna, but when Keegan came out he looked and sounded like her... I felt instantly like he was ours. 

After a few minutes with both of us they took him to weigh him and check vitals. 8lbs7oz, 20.5 inches long. He was perfect.

 They brought him back to me and we had some skin to skin bonding time-something I hadn't done but always wished I had with Mikenna. He instantly calmed down... it was amazing. As soon as he was on my chest he was scooting himself down and opening his mouth... he was trying to nurse. Well that was easy! I sent my mom to quickly grab everyone in the waiting room to come see him so I could feed him. Everyone got a quick peek and went home to get some rest. He nursed like a champ within minutes despite some anticipated latching issues due to a high arched palate in his mouth. We both figured it out quickly thankfully... I can't imagine not nursing my babies. 

When we finally got back to our room we were exhausted, but we didn't sleep much. We spent most of the night staring at him. His almond shaped eyes, his perfect little lips, his features that looked so manly compared to Mikenna's... We haven't done much aside from snuggling and staring at this sweet boy ever since... we are so in love. 

Welcome to the world and to our crazy family Keegan Bryce. We already love you so much!